I can ride my bike with no handlebars

So I'm at the airport. The first thing I look for is a bar. Human nature, I suppose. Maybe I'm an alcoholic. Maybe not. My bloody mary has lemon seeds. I hate that.

I like to people watch. I am listening to a girl (woman maybe) talk to a man. She is as loud as I am, but talks more (hard to believe, right)?

I wonder if it's sad that my goal in life is to find someone with whom I can have stellar sex 360 days a year ( I need some holidays). Seriously....or maybe it's that I haven't had sex in over 360 days (unless you count with myself. I'm pretty good ;))

I am being pursued by a married man. Heavily pursued. On one hand, it makes me want to punch the sucker in the face for being an asshole. On the other hand, he's hot, and I really haven't had sex in so long, the idea of a lucid affair which would not lead to anything but sex in empty houses (he's a realtor) during lunch break sounds so tempting I have had many a dream (day and night) about it. Good thing Macie's world is not the real world. Or I'd be slapping my face and calling me a whore.

I can guide a missile by satellite...

I can't pick a candidate for 2008. The presidential position is a funny thing. In fact, Nicole and I were discussing it last night. So I wonder still, why is there so much emphasis on our president when his power is technically limited and Congress does the dirty work? Shouldn't we be paying more attention to our congressman? It is America we live in. No one will tell you to look where it counts.

I am glad to be home in California. My new place (in Hillcrest) is awesome. It's old, but it has character (and a pool!). I will put my finishing touches on it soon, and it will be my home. Finally, a place to call my own (if my own means ruled by toys and cheerios).

I can keep rhythm with no metronome....

My son is a funny kid. Lately, he looks like a hungry hungry hippo. His jowels are fantastic...huge little chipmunk cheeks and two teeth. I love him.

I can make anybody go to prison just because I don't like them.

Does anyone else get a wave of pity when being served by a 65 year old waitress? There is something in my soul that just hurts to see it. I don't know why...maybe there are too many sob stories on Lifetime. Although...the last time I watched lifetime was because Diagnosis Murder was the best thing on. I am definitely not used to being home on a Saturday night.

I can end the planet in a holocaust.

Eat.Pray.Love. I'm reading it, and quite frankly, it's crap. The writer should just move directly into directing movies for the Hallmark channel. Do we really need another self-help novel infecting our shelves with the idea that a guru and the money to travel everywhere you'd like to will solve your problems (and by problems I mean are crazy because you tried to kill yourself over a boy )? Diane Lane: Under the Tuscan Sun come on down! There just might be bigger fish to fry these days.

And there's a scene in the show when the hustler knows he's gonna die. The ground opens and he climbs inside
Is there a hand to take hold of the scene?

No, I haven't lost my mind, but it is in pieces inside my head. I have decided to blog brainstorming style. I'm just writing (typing) and not editing. It's kind of fun.

Damn it. 4 lemon seeds. And only 3 bloody mary's.

Gracing each face that is making the waste that is broken as one's fairly fly.

Ever wonder why there are so many love songs? Because love hurts. (I actually wasn't quoting song lyrics there). That is why I hope not to ever fall in it again. That is not to say I don't hope to be in it.

There you are standing right in front of me…hold me close cause I need you to guide me to safety.

I think it's time to board my flight. I've missed you all (still do, as my best friends are all over the country…)

Thanks for listening to my random (vodka infused) lyrics to my life.

I can ride my bike with no handlebars...no handlebars....